Hollandia Extra Strong Imperial Pils, Holland (Alcohol 12%) The Beer Store $4.25 (500ml Tall Boy cans)
There is bad beer, and then there is really bad beer. Hollandia Extra Strong undoubtedly falls into the latter category.
When the promotional material screams:
ONTARIO’S STRONGEST BEER IN A CAN HAS ARRIVED!
START YOUR ENGINES WITH A HOLLANDIA EXTRA STRONG!!
…you can tell it’s not exactly going to be a delicately nuanced brew.
Now, if by “Start Your Engines” they mean “Drink a few, stagger about in a confused manner, fall over and ungraciously soil yourself” then I think they would be right on the money. Which also beggars the question, who on earth is the intended target audience? I mean, a 12% beer is hardly a crowd-pleaser at the best of times, unless of course your crowd is a bumdle [sic] of gentlemen of the street. In my mind, this disgustingly syrupy can of suds is specifically designed to be consumed en pleine air (or perhaps under a bridge depending upon one’s preference).
It pours a clear orangey colour in the glass, with an uneven mousse not dissimilar to sea scum/spume. There’s a distinctive and unpleasant punch of rank fusel alcohol mixed with rancid honey that would surely put off all but the most determined of alcoholic adventurers. If one is foolhardy/desperate enough to actually imbibe, there is a dominant but clumsy and sticky alcoholic maltiness on the palate, and a similarly persistent syrupy finish that unfortunately for the drinker lingers on and on… and on.
I swear I could taste it in my mouth the next day. Actually, I think I could actually smell it from my skin the next day, this awful stuff is that pervasive within the human body. I swear its sweet stink was oozing from my very pores.
What with recent British news reports stating that such super strength beers cause more harm that both crack and heroin, The Beer Store hits a new low with this fizzy cloying muck aimed firmly at the anti-social drinker. So much for their much-touted credo of social responsibility.
Zero Apples out of a maximum of five.
Edinburgh-born/Toronto-based Sommelier, consultant, writer, judge, and educator Jamie Drummond is the Director of Programs/Editor of Good Food Revolution… And that was really minging.
WTF!! Fine you don’t like it I get it. But I’ll have ONE!!
I hate it. I’m drinking one now. It’s so goddamn sweet and strong at the same time…it’s like a shot of whiskey mixed with a glass of beer. Tastes fucking horrible!! Never again! Also, this beer puts me to sleep. It doesn’t give me a buzz – it makes me sleepy as hell though.
I don’t comprehend the “sticky” or “syrup” part of your critique, not so in my experience.
If a 12% beer is wigging you out from a social responsibility angle, wait till you look at the alcohol percentage on the whiskey you compared it to. Think of the children!!
It’s one thing not to like a brew, but your pearl-clutching conclusion is asinine.
Funny and fairly accurate description of Hollandia Extra Strong. This is no social drink – it’s meant to get you hammered – which is why I bought a case last night. The cans were chilled, not cold. I was impressed by the drinkability of my first normal-size beer sip (it did taste like beer). After the second or third same-size sips, I started loosening and warming up slightly. From then and up until I finished my third can, I treated it like wine because it’s as strong as wine and has the same effects. 3 cans = 1.5L wine bottle (piece of cake for me with 90 minutes to 2 hours on my hands before sleep). I cracked open a fourth can and was not able to get past a few small wine-like sips before lying down on my bed and having my room spin around me. Quickly grabbed a cold bedside bottle of water, downed it, and fell right to sleep…or passed out (I honestly don’t know). 4 out of 5 for me. Minus a point for the aftertaste, but it gets the job done. Sure a case of 24 is about $100, but the case will last because here’s a beer that does not allow you to chug. Like I said, treat it like wine. 24 cans = 12L of wine!
This is the best beer I’ve ever had, you’re all just cowards.